Remember, cause I know that we won't forget at all

2009-10-24T21:25:00.003+01:00

I was in the gym the other day. Just after running 4 km, and my hair started sticking to my forehead dripping sweat on the treadmill. When I got back home, the thought of getting a haircut passed through my head for quite a while. I remembered how badly my last haircut here turned out and I didn't wanna risk paying 15 quid for shit again. I took Zheng's clippers and.. took the first step. An hour later, I was looking different hmm. I felt good haha.

Plenty of mixed responses so far. But it was more positive than negative. Besides, those who didn't have anything nice to say wouldn't have said anything either, so I guess it's win-win so far :) As it turns out, Fidz likes my hair actually. hahah *wiggles eyebrows*. I had the impression that she didn't cos she scrunched her face when she saw me LOL.

I told my mum about it on msn. This is how our conversation went.

Me: btw ma, I shaved my head hahahaha.
Mom: What?
Me: quite short lo. like tarap. a bit cold now le up there hahah.
Mom: What?
Me: ?

Very cute one her. hahah :)

BruNotts Raya went better than I thought, I got hooked to the lucky draw song. Very catchy haha. I also had some super luck, won a poker set when I told everyone I was gonna win that specific draw. woooooT. 1061 is the number for tonight :)

Anyway, posts will get less frequent now due to work and other obligations (: so.. yeah.

Blueberry muffins..

2009-10-21T00:21:00.005+01:00

I knew this would happen. Haha. I failed to post daily cos of the work I've been getting lately. The good news is that both my projects seem to be ahead of schedule, and I'm not too far behind on my studying too. Also missed my 100% lecture attendance streak, due to that night at Oceana.. and the one after that just cos I was lazy. bleh. I can't afford to miss more lectures.

Okay so. Quite a lot happened in the few days that I didn't blog about. There was this lazy Thursday, that I went to the city to check on o2. They still didn't have stock for an iPhone and this was the 3rd visit to the store. Friday, I finished lectures at 3pm. And there it was. I felt it! THE IPHONE WAS CALLING ME. HAHA xD

I knew Leicester has an Apple store, so just on that, I went there. HAHA. Met up with Sanny in the city and went hunting for a 5 litre keg of beer. It was our drinking night ;) I took the train to Leicester, got lost a couple of times, and found my way home with my beloved iPhone the same day, and shared a 5 litre keg of Heineiken with 2 of my good friends with Luigi's burgers. They're improved their service :) It was a very good night that. Haha, we all know how that story goes when you drink 1.5 litre of beer in 2 hours :)

It's weird though. I usually have this problem of just not using a gadget I bought, if I had hesitated before buying. I think it's disappointment, that what I bought didn't live up to my expectations. My Zune. My PSP. My Grados headphones. I knew this so I was really cautious about buying my iPhone. It was like a tango that went on for 2 years. But it was meant to be. I have never been so content with a purchase :) ever. This is just truly satisfying. I am sure this is what love feels like. very very sure :D

Continuing the feel good vibe, today was A pretty good day too. I found my shaver charger this morning, and I thought I left it in Brunei. I couldn't shave for a few weeks but that's fine now :D no more wolverine look anymore hahhaha. Also, did a gym speedrun today. Total of 40 mins. My usual gym run takes an hour. Everything felt perfect. I could lift heavier, run faster, longer, and best of all, my shin splints are now gone :) no more pain! I love running :)

After dinner, Zheng and I watched Nottingham Forest play Barnsley. We got 1 quid tickets for it. Pretty awesome :) Aaron malas shit la. boo, you missed out :p The stadium was very awesome. I really liked the stands and lighting, very grand feeling. The atmosphere was incredible too. The roars and chants electrified the air :D very buzzy high. It's a big step up from watching DPMM play in Brunei. I am definitely up for watching Forest's games now. Lots of nice plays by Forest, unlucky tho. It was good they got a last minute goal but then Moussi got sent off for celebrating. Stupid FA rule la. It's taking the passion outta the game. Who doesn't like to see a player wear his heart and pride on his sleeve? This is what football is about.

Anyway, in those few days keg hunting and grocery shopping through the city, I've passed through quite a few Tescos.. and I also remember seeing them in the bakery aisle.. I really wanted to get you some.. but decided not to.

Things are simpler this way. I guess.

Tonight's gonna be a good night..

2009-10-15T03:40:00.007+01:00

I don't know why, but it hurts so much.. fk this. why am I so weak..? stevie hoang sucks cock, 3 songs n thats it, fuck him la

It's better if we don't speak at all..

2009-10-13T23:45:00.011+01:00

In the spirit of my two friends and their posts. I've released some old posts of mine. Those were hard times for me, and I want to share with them too.

I can relate to my friend in some ways. Like how badly it hurts to lose something that means so much to you. It doesn't really matter how long (or short) you were together, the effect lingers on and descimates the soul. The pain doesn't actually fade.. you just get used to it. It's a sad truth.

I realised that I've been burying myself in work and gym to keep myself from feeling anything for the past year, and I finally pieced my world back together not too long ago. I wish that sometimes things would have worked out better with her. Perhaps differently. Maybe it's just me. But then I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I'm a better person now because of what happened. I don't know what I meant to her, but there was a time, when she was everything to me. But because of what I went through, nothing truly hurts, or feels good anymore. Numb, is the correct word?

I saw her few days ago in one of my lectures. I was late planting strawberries on Farmville (yes, laugh now) so I had to get to the last row. The stairs split the lecture room in half. She was there on my right. I saw her look at me and she start shifting to the seat next to her thinking I would sit with her. I took the seat on the left side of the lecture room instead, and sat through the 2 hour lecture without saying anything to her. I don't know why I did that. Stairs seperating us. We haven't talked.. for how long I don't even remember anymore. I guess that's just the way things are supposed to be.

Oh yeah, nice song for the day :) Check it out. 'Stevie Hoang - I'll Be Fine'. He's gonna be there at Oceana tomorrow night. WOoo. Been working on my personal statement for applying to Imperial, I really hope I get there.

Ah, I'm starting to get tired from coming to the library everyday for the past week.

For you, it beats 191bpm..

2009-10-11T11:39:00.000+01:00

I chatted with my dad on msn earlier today, and talked about my project. I told him I was feeling very fked up about how to find solutions to the project. And, he told me something he knew about cos he worked on powerplant projects and it gave me a good lead to work on for the day. I'm so glad he's a mechanical engineer :) hehe.

But to be honest, it wasn't that great of a day. I spent 7 hours working in the comp labs. Got back home to get dinner and clean the toilet -_-||.. then went to the gym to notice that my left shin splinter got worse, my right ankle still hasn't healed, and my right shoulder's still injured. I have got to get it fixed when I get back home next year. So much for training for my 42km run. FML

I had a funny conversation just now with Zheng about one of our coursemates, Ben Moneycoomes. HAHA. I'm not gonna post what was said but lol. It's an awesome name, no? ;) Here's another song to checkout. 'Ghostlines - Brave New World (Iron Maiden Cover)'. Very mellow take on an energetic song. I know someone of you won't appreciate it, but who cares. It's my blog, mlm. hahaha

I am looking forward to the 31st for the 5 litre keg of Stella. I need a drink.

With the door wide open, no one can leave

2009-10-10T23:25:00.010+01:00

For a moment there, I thought of blogging about Farmville and CafeWorld. But that's lame and I'm not gonna do that.

[After 7 hours in the library]

I hate this. Both my projects are fk hard and design oriented. This means, there's nothing I can use in the library, and nothing to be found online since it's all classified company information. No one's found a solution to this problem, and I've gotta be the one to figure it out. Worse still, I can't work on it like I can on assignments. I've got to dig out information from real train engineers, company records, and I can only do that when they reply me! This is just too time consuming :( FML. I'm gonna try and give it another go tomorrow.

Anyway, thanks to Rue. I found the names to the music I listened to some weeks ago lol. YUAN LAI Stevie Huong is that guy who did 'Addicted'. Eric intro'ed some of this songs before, I just couldn't remember. I finally see why Sexyback 14th Oct, costs 15 quid -.-". bleh.

New music of the day, 'Metric - Collect Call'. Check it out. Oh, there goes Rue :) dc again. LOL@u la hahaha. btw, happy 21st birthday Desmond. I'm avoiding a repeat of 25th.. if u know what I mean. Apologies for not going over :)

I think this post lacks emoness, so I shall divulge.. that the fender I bought for her came few days ago.. Sounds and plays pretty great too. I don't think it's appropriate to give her that anymore, so I'm gonna slap new strings on it and go Taylor Swift on my housemates for a while ;o.. and I think I like this guitar more than my previous one..

Is it ever gonna be enough

2009-10-09T22:13:00.006+01:00

This is a random post.

I just realised I'm now in my 3rd year.. probably the last year I'll spend in Nottingham. I can't say how much I love it here, and I don't really want to leave. I feel staying in UK for another 4 more years atleast.. It's like I'm having a student midlife crisis. I haven't really done all that I set out to do in past 2 years. But I will make amends, and make this the most epic year. I will go clubbing at every opportunity I get now. I will walk through Lakeside once in a while to visit the bloody shitting geese and try and understand why people walk through Lakeside. I will visit Nottingham Castle and Sherwood forest. I will visit Gala casinos and try my luck. Hhaaa

I slept infront of my lecturer in the front row just now. for 2 hours. LOL. fishing style not the face-meets-table type. I can imagine how sexy that looks from his view. Half opened eyes and shit lolol. Went back and got a quaker fk of a headache. slept like a log and missed Jujitsu class. fock == I'm never gonna make it to any martial arts classes -.-

I realised something today I wished I didn't think so hard about. Oh well, I've been through worse. Anyways, music update. Checkout 'Metric - Gold Guns Girls'.

Disclaimer: I am posting this under the influence of 1 litre of Kopparberg. I shall not be responsible for any thing written, typed, inferred, during the course of this posting. kthnxbye

This isn't another girl meets boy

2009-10-08T21:35:00.005+01:00

Just got back from watching Zombieland. Brilliant movie. Definitely worth 5 pounds :) Left me feeling good all around haha. Got me hooked right from the start with Metallica's For whom the bell tolls. 8.5/10.

On another feel good note,

I can't get "La Roux - I'm not your toy" out of my head. It's like Star Trek. I know I shouldn't like it, but I like it a lot. It's some weird shit going on. It reminds me of happy childhood memories made playing Mario. Priceless 8-bit music. I've been so warm and bubbly since last night. hahah. I see red, orange, green, yellow, white, pixelated gummy bears doing the robot dance on a green hill, with hopping pixelated Mario mushrooms, when I listen to it. hahah, random yes.

Rue came over today with her incredibly sexy sick voice hahaha. kasian. AND, she was hungry for the first time since I've known her. First time, I've seen her sick. First time, I've seen her hungry.

Hmm.. been thinking maybe I shouldn't do it after all. Thanks for listening, you know who you are. haha. I'll do work to keep it aside for a while. Looking forward to Jujitsu class tomorrow :)

Happy

2008-07-10T03:02:00.002+01:00

I only blog when I feel crappy. So it's a good thing I'm not posting much nowadays. I feel great. Paris was incredible good. Iron Maiden made up for the 2 weeks of isolation in Nottingham. It made my year, really.

hmm.. and I've met up a few people in Brunei =) had a lot of good food too. I love this. I can't believe I missed Brunei haha.

This time

2008-06-24T18:49:00.008+01:00

07 says:
i just want some one that loves me.. n i love him back..

I caught that while trying to cheer her up today.

It was a bit too late to go to the city so I went to the library to print out stuff on Paris instead. 6 more days to Paris. It should be fun for me. Lets see how this one goes. I'll stop gaming and roam around city tomorrow. I need to get my mind off her. And study french.

I'm tired.

Soro-dono

2008-06-17T01:41:00.007+01:00

I'm sitting on a couch now in my senior's house. Going to be crashing here for quite a while. Things have been interesting lately. I sent her off the early hours of Download2008. Got to hear her voice minutes before her plane departed. I was missing her then. She was wearing the ring the day she went back.

Download2008 was incredible. In some ways it was less enjoyable than Paramore@Rock City. Probably the wide open spaces. It's more exciting when bodies are squishing into you, and you have to mosh when everyone around you is. Good fun. I'm not sure if I'll be at the next Download however. Been thinking of going to other metal festivals in say Belgium or Germany usually around this time every year. InFlames, Opeth, Nickelback, Dragonforce are touring UK in October too. More things to look forward to. I can't wait for Iron Maiden in Paris.

As to what I'm gonna be doing these few days. I'll probably just walk around Nottingham, workout at the uni gym, and maybe explore York or Brighton. I should start to live my life I put on hold a few years back.

The more I think about it, the more it seems that she loves him the way I love her, which is why she can't see me as something more. I watched a sappy korean movie earlier today, and it reminded me of the way we held hands. I miss her.

Hate

2008-06-12T11:17:00.006+01:00

I hate it when you smell like sunflowers. I hate it when you playfully poke me. I hate that you look for me when something's bothering you. I hate that your hair smells perfect even when you don't shower. I hate that everyone loves you. I hate that you take me for granted, always expecting me to be there for you. I hate that you make me miss you. I hate it when you say you're ugly. I hate it when you sing.

I hate it when you lie to me. I hate it when you tease me. I hate that I have to cheer you up when you cry. I hate that you beat me at maths everytime. I hate it when you appear in my dreams uninvited. I hate that you make my day. I hate it when you always call me. I hate your msgs that always leave my inbox full so I have to delete other msgs. I hate the way you look when you sleep.

I hate that you make me lie about hating you.

Hope

2008-06-10T23:05:00.005+01:00

She woke me up today with a call. Crying. For the past few weeks, she's been logging into his friendster account and his brother's been telling her that he still loves her. She's been believing that for sometime. The password he didn't change, kept her hoping that he'd get back with her, that he still loves her. The password no longer works.

Now, she's hurting again. And I'm the one she calls to cheer her up.. except.. she doesn't want to be with me. I've told her before that I hate to be used and taken for granted. But then, it tears me up that she cries so often. Hate it, when it's about him. And even more when I can't cheer her up. She just wants to hear his voice. It sucks. That bastard doesn't even know what he lost.

I've been standing by her for the past few years. How can it be that I'm losing to a prick who dumped her by sms? Fuck. Life isn't fair.

Pilot

2008-06-08T21:30:00.002+01:00

I've tried not to start blogging again. I swear. But I think I need it now. There's so much on my mind, no one to tell. All in fragments but with me.

I'm confused, depressed and at a low. I used to think I could get through anything, as long as I wanted to. 4 years. That's how long I've had myself torn for the same person. The same her I can't let go. I've tried, I really have. Not once, but many many times. The first time lasted a day, second time lasted a week, third time lasted a month, fourth time lasted 7 months, fifth time lasted 3 weeks. And, everytime.. one of us would break the silence.. she would find some reason to msg me and I'll not be able to resist replying. A friend said we'll never fall apart, because we always come back together.

Now it's the sixth time I've tried to let it go. Things are different this time. Circumstances, me, her. The past few times were because I didn't want to be the third wheel in their story. Now that she's not with him anymore. I don't know what I want to do, or what I can do. I've always had this image that if she wasn't with him, she'd be more than willing to be with me. After all, the things we're been through.. and how long I held on to her.. I thought she'd be able to see me as something more. Even after choosing him over me for the past few times.. I've stayed. She loves me alright. As a friend. What? What in the world does that mean? Not good looking enough? Not fun enough? Not Korean? WHAT? Embarrassed to be around me in front of her friends? WHAT?

I don't know what changed in her. The best memories of my life were with her.. Who cares if it was just a few hours that we stayed up talking about nothing. I wouldn't have minded dying right there and then. At least I'd have her smiling at me, with her cold tiny hands in mine. I had been waiting for that moment for 4 years. I thought everything was gonna be good from there on. Funny how she felt that to be a mistake.